Resist Judging Your Overeating
When you overeat, resist the temptation to spiral in shame, self-judgment and fear. Instead ask yourself compassionately, “What are the root causes of my overeating?”
When I realized that self-judgment only made binge eating worse, I began a new practice.
When I noticed myself starting to spiral in the self-hatred and shame after a binge, I'd catch myself and say,
"Nope, we don't do this anymore. We aren't going down this road anymore. This destroys my energy and my day and does absolutely nothing to prevent future binges."
And then I'd consciously redirect my focus as if turning to look in an entirely different direction and instead say to myself,
"This binge happened for a reason. My overeating is there for a reason. And it can be healed. Instead of spending all my time and emotional energy hating myself for doing it, why don't I use that energy to explore WHY I do this?"
You can literally stop your self-blame in its tracks, and go off and start to journal about what your overeating is really about.
You need to change the attitude from hard, harsh, attacking feelings towards yourself to kind, gentle, compassionate and curious feelings towards yourself.
Remember that the "why" is never, ever that you lack willpower, discipline or focus. It's not because you're pathetic and weak. It has nothing to do with your personality or nature.
But there are significant whys when it comes to how you were treated in your childhood and how you are being treated in your life now, how you are treating others, what your beliefs are about feeling emotions, and whether you do allow yourself to feel emotions.
So I'd literally say to myself, "Courtney, don't beat yourself up. If you're going to use your emotional energy for something, let's focus on some dad stuff." Or, "Let's focus on why you're blocked to crying." Or, "Let's unpack what happened on that call with mom the other day.”
If you knew a sweet little girl who you cared about, who struggled with binge eating, surely you wouldn't yell at her for being weak and swear at her for not being disciplined.
Surely, you'd be soft and gentle and want to help her figure out what's going on in her heart.
Photo by Zoe Schaeffer via Unsplash