Competitive Mothers and Daughters with Weight Problems

When mothers are competitive with other women about appearance and thinness, or even about other areas of life, they tend to eventually also compete with their daughters.

Carrying extra weight -- and eating too much to create it -- can be a soul-based way that a daughter is agreeing to the pressures she's grown up with that the mother must always be the winner.

Many women experience their mothers getting underhanded or more negative towards them as they lose weight, which the mother may see as a threat to her being top dog.

When we don't understand this dynamic with our mothers, we will often self-sabotage our weight loss and gain it back.

This is because it feels safer than being a target.

A competitive dynamic between mother and daughter (or father and son) means there is an emotional agreement about how things are in the relationship, and the superior position of the mother over the daughter.

When the daughter starts to lose weight, or to shine in any area of her life, this completely changes that emotional dynamic, even if the daughter has no thought in her mind that this is about any competition.

If this dynamic is a factor for us in our struggles with overeating and weight, we need to explore this possibility, which takes courage and bravery.

We then need to feel our emotions about the truth that we discover. We may have anger and sadness at being oppressed, competed with and made to feel like we must not outshine our mothers, and we must feel our terror about shining in spite of her competitiveness and potential displeasure at our positive changes.

Photo by Magnus Jonasson via Unsplash